When Holidays Hurt

When Holidays Hurt

What Are You Doing for the Holidays?
A Question Many People Hate. Have You Ever Thought About That?

Every year, as December approaches, the same crown question appears — polished, decorated, and wrapped in social expectations:

“What are you doing for the holidays?”
“Are you going away?”
“Where are you celebrating?”

A question that should be harmless suddenly becomes a source of anxiety for so many people. As if the worth of your life — or the state of your heart — could be measured by the destination stamped in your passport or the number of people you are spending the day with.

We live in a world that has turned Christmas and New Year into a performance.
If you are not flying somewhere exotic, surrounded by a glamorous table full of people, dressed in sequins and clinking glasses at midnight… something must be wrong with you. Right?

Wrong.

You are not alone.
And nothing — absolutely nothing — is wrong with you.

The truth is simple: Christmas and New Year have no meaning unless you give them meaning.
These dates are empty boxes until you decide what you want to put inside them.

Yet society, media, and entire industries have built a fairytale that needs to be sold — the perfect family celebration, the perfect table, the perfect outfit, the perfect escape. Businesses depend on it. Expectations depend on it. Appearances depend on it.

But your soul doesn’t.

This year, I want us to break this mould together.
Not everyone has plans.
Not everyone wants plans.

And not everyone needs them.

As for me, I don’t have plans for Christmas or New Year — and I don’t really care.
Not in a cold, dismissive way.
In a liberated, peaceful, sovereign way.

Because I choose to take this time differently.

When the world becomes loud with parties, gatherings, obligations, and endless social noise, I take the silence as a gift. I use the days when most people are away to sit still, breathe deeply, and hear myself again.

Long walks in nature.
Journaling.
A cup of tea without rushing.
Thinking about the year ahead not with pressure, but with intention.
Asking myself: How do I want my world to be? How do I want my calendar to look? Who do I want to become?

This is my version of a holiday. And you are allowed to have yours, whatever shape it takes.
Maybe this year you don’t want to entertain anyone.
Maybe you don’t feel like travelling.
Maybe you want to spend it alone — in peace, not loneliness.
Maybe you want to sleep, read, meditate, journal, dream, or do absolutely nothing.

That is allowed.
That is valid.
That is enough.

A Personal Truth: I Don’t Want to Spend Christmas With My Family This Year

It’s not an easy thing to admit, but it’s honest.

And when I say “family,” I don’t mean my children.

I adore spending the holidays with my children — but because we are divorced, I spend only half of the holidays with them. It’s not always easy, but I choose to see the cup half full, not half empty.

When I don’t have the kids, I will choose things that help me grow, rest, and create. I won’t sit and wallow in sorrow or loneliness. I will use that time intentionally — not as punishment, but as possibility.

And when I do have my children, I won’t pressure them into what society expects us to do. I’ll give them space, freedom, and choice. I’ll ask them what they want. We will decide together, without rules, without performance, without pretending.

But the deeper truth is this:
I don’t want to spend this Christmas with certain members of my extended family.

Not because I don’t love them — I do.
Not because I don’t respect them — I do.
But because spending more time with a particular person simply does not do me good. I won’t point fingers or name names. It’s unnecessary. The only thing that matters is the impact.

Being around that person doesn’t nourish me.
It drains me.
It strips me of energy.
It pulls me back into roles, expectations, and versions of myself that no longer belong to me.

I don’t want to dress up to meet someone else’s expectations.
I don’t want to perform as the “good girl,” the “successful woman,” the one who always fits in and behaves.
I don’t want to be edited.
I want to be me.

And here is the most liberating truth:

If our family cannot accept all of who we are unconditionally, we have the right to choose something else.

I Am a Rule Breaker — And Proud of It

And one more thing you should know about me:
I am a rule breaker.

I don’t like anyone telling me when to celebrate, how to celebrate, or what a holiday should look like. I’ve never been someone who follows a script simply because “that’s what everyone does.”

In fact, my Christmas and New Year will be in January this year.

Why?
Because I say so.
Because I like to be different.
Because I am a rule breaker.
I am a revolutionary.
I am a trendsetter.

I don’t follow traditions that suffocate my spirit.
I create my own rituals, my own timelines, my own meaning.
Freedom is my favourite tradition — and I’m keeping it.

If the holiday season brings pressure, let’s rewrite it.
If it triggers comparison, let’s soften it.
If it highlights loneliness, let’s transform it into solitude — a sacred space that belongs only to you.

You do not need to perform joy.
You do not need to curate a holiday for public approval.
You do not need to explain yourself.

You need only to choose what feels real.

So here is my invitation:
Let’s decide for ourselves what these days will mean.
Let’s choose presence over perfection.
Meaning over expectation.
Peace over performance.

Who is with me?

When Holidays Hurt: What If You Don’t Have Family — or the Family You Have Isn’t Supportive?

We romanticise Christmas as the season of togetherness — warm dinners, laughter, cosy homes, and families who accept and adore you. But for many, this is far from reality.

If your family is far away, disconnected, critical, emotionally unsafe, or simply unable to see the real you… the holiday season becomes a wound that reopens every December.

If this is your experience, please know: you are not alone.

Here are three ways to support yourself through Christmas and New Year when family isn’t your safe place:

1. Redefine Family — Choose Your Circle

Family is not blood.
Family is energy.
Family is the people who support you, uplift you, celebrate you, and truly see you.

Even one person who understands you can make all the difference.

2. Protect Your Peace — Set Boundaries Without Apology

You are allowed to say no.
You are allowed to keep it simple.
You are allowed to avoid environments that drain you.

Boundaries don’t break relationships.
They reveal which relationships were real.

This year, let your peace be your priority.

3. Create a Ritual That Nourishes Your Soul

A long walk in nature.
A day of journaling.
A beautiful dinner alone.
A movie marathon in pyjamas.
A spa day.
Stillness.
Rest.
Dreaming.
Doing absolutely nothing.

Holidays become painful when we compare.
They become peaceful when we choose.

If this season feels heavy, remember:

You are not failing.
You are not behind.
You are brave.
You are healing.
You are allowed to choose what feels right for you.

Choose meaning over pressure.
Choose authenticity over performance.
Choose peace over perfection.
Choose yourself.

And if nobody has said it yet —
I am with you.

What if the only thing standing between you and a peaceful holiday… is permission?

If you’re ready to stop performing, stop pretending, and start choosing a season that nourishes your soul — I invite you to take that step with me.

Book your free 30‑Minute Diamond Call today.
Let’s create your success story — one honest choice at a time.