We've all heard the phrase, "Love yourself." But what does that mean? If you struggle with being good to yourself, your self-esteem and self-worth may be suffering. No matter what you look like or how you currently feel about yourself, you can learn how to love yourself. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be beautiful. If you want to feel lovable, fall in love with yourself. Here is what self-love means to me and how you can achieve it!
My First Experience With Self-Love
I encountered this strange (to me) idea of self-love possibly for the first time at a two-day Be a Goddess masterclass by a wonderful trainer from Switzerland. During the class, she gave us an exercise that involved talking to ourselves like our parents did when we were little girls. She asked us to caress our heads with one hand as our mums, and the other as our dads. She then asked us to embrace (hug) ourselves so we could fill our "love tanks" with the love we did not receive back then. I confess it was a weird thing to do. But being there, in the comfort of a beautiful soul and friend of ours, Tatiana, in her beautiful mansion in the countryside, we did it. It was so liberating, there were tears… It was such a powerful experience.
Let me just say that I have received plenty of love growing up and I'm sure most or all the other Goddesses in the group did, too. But we only received what our parents could give us; possibly only as much they were given growing up. Maybe our "love tanks" had more space… Since then, my journey of self-love started. The Importance of Self-Love Exercises
I started doing the morning exercise of looking in a mirror first thing and finding the little girl in me, telling her I loved her ten times. It is still strange although I have been doing it for a while, but I am so much better at it. This, and other self-love techniques, can help you realise your worth. I appreciate myself so much more now. I finally have accepted myself the way I am. I view myself as a beautiful human being on a path to self-discovery, self-mastery, and a quest of making the world a better place one smile at a time.
I started looking for my real self after I lost my marriage at the age of 37. I wasn't sure what I was doing other than following my intuition and honouring my promise to myself. During childhood, I saw how my parents resented each other, so I promised myself that I wouldn't stay in a "loveless" marriage for the sake of the children. After all, I was a child of a marriage like that, and I wasn't very happy with it. Now, when I speak to my mum about it, she explains that back then being a child of divorced parents was terrible. Those kids were considered "outcasts." I believe her, forgive her, and actually admire her because she put us, her two children, first. I wouldn't be able to do it, but that's not because I am a worse mum. My philosophy is different and times are different. I believe that when I am happy, my children are happy. If I show them the way, they will know how to fight for their happiness and set boundaries in their relationships.
My Self-Love Inspiration
My biggest inspiration in the field of self-love is Marisa Peer. The first time I heard about her was from B, a wonderful friend of mine. She told me about Marisa's talk called I Am Enough.
I remember writing this message on quite a few mirrors at home. With red lipstick! My children were not impressed, but I loved it and it helped! Occasionally I write red lipstick messages. My most recent writing was "Everything is Figureoutable." Another blog on this to follow. These self-worth messages helped me teach myself that love is not to be earned, bought, or worked for.
How to Practice Self-Love and Care
To love yourself, you don't need to change your waist, your job, your hair, or your style. The only thing you need to do is feel lovable, meaning you're worthy of love. When we feel lovable, other people feel it too. We don't have to ask for love. Remember, if you give someone else the job of making you feel lovable, they may take the love with them any time they want. Don't give them that power. What will change your life is falling in love with yourself. If you do that, other people will love you as much as you do and be attracted to you. The longest and most important relationship of your life is with YOU.
How to Love Yourself With Simple Self-Care Ideas
To love yourself, you must first figure out what you would like to hear. Say the following to yourself: "I love you. You are the best thing that has happened to me my entire life. When you pass by a mirror, say to yourself: "Look at you. You are gorgeous. You are lovable. You are kind and you have a big heart. I love you because you are lovable just the way you are. Not because you make a lot of money and not because of your six-pack." Your mind doesn't care who says it as long as you hear it. If you say it, it must be true!
Marisa's advice is: Just think of what you most want to hear. And say it and say it and say it. It's like putting on a lotion that will nourish your soul. Repeating these messages to yourself is the first step to loving yourself. If you need additional help, self-love counselling is also beneficial to understanding your worth. Be Good to Yourself for a Brighter Future Know you are lovable. Know you are worthy, fall in love with yourself to heal your soul. Whether it's with a self love tattoo or red lipstick messages, remind yourself every day that you are worthy of love and acceptance. I love me. I can love you. We can love each other. If you need help with your self-love, contact me!